now i have another song to add to my feelgood playlist. ((:
the past few days have been sweet and dandy. feeling so goddamn lucky that ive crossed path with all these lovely people.
i also read an article about how this guy suddenly found out he’s intersex and started to embrace his/her womanhood with full support from his wife and children.
now that’s true love. (‘:
it has been too long since i last saw you. im super grateful that we bear no hatred towards each other. maybe not zilch exactly. but all’s cool enough for us to finally meet for dinner. and it means much more to me that you are the one who initiated the meet.
and over dinner we talked. about the past, the future, the mishaps, latest happenings among our peers. about how life isnt always fair. about the dogs that bite the hands that feed them. i was amazed at how we are still able to connect to each other emotionally, how easy it was to put ourselves in each other’s shoes and find comfort in each other. i admit, i kinda missed all that.
then suddenly, my mind slowly drifted away when all you had to talk about was yourself. i wasnt really listening to what you had to say anymore. a bout of annoyance creeped into my grey matter and suddenly my heart was taking reins. i was getting irritated w the grapevine session and i was this close to rolling my eyes at you as i usually did. i did not want to listen to you anymore.
then, i got reminded why we separated in the first place.
i never really loved you. my heart was not big enough to accept you for who you are. i am selfish. i care for you but not enough to listen to you.
i assumed you were spewing rubbish before even listening to you.
but last night, i made an attempt. i tried listening without judging. and i saw a side of you i never knew existed. i was glad i tried.
we may not be cut out to be together as a couple but we sure make damn good friends.
and so, to many more grapevine sessions to come. :)
/edited
reminder to self. no matter how much you try to hurt me, i will try to remember tht there’s the good side in you. and that im forever indebted to you for all the good times during those 2 years.
no matter how harsh your words get, ill remind myself that your good side outweigh all those and i shall not blame you for anything.
but im jaded. the ends of my string are frayed.
i can only hope things will get better.
so let the sunshine in 