so let the sunshine in

(:

before i go back to sleep and forget everything. July 26, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — MM @ 9:52 am

it’s 3.30 in the morning and fate decreed that i wake up to a dozen mozzie bites on my leg and proceed to cry like a baby afterwards.
no not because of the damn mosquitoes.

you know how things happen for a reason (better or worse) and some things acts a sign/reminder for you.
it’s like the universe nudging you and saying “hey get back on track, don’t forget why you are here”
and this email that i just received did just that.

20130726-031531.jpg

all the memories were flooding in and i recalled how happy and sad i was back then.
the reason why this means so much to me is because just a few days ago, ive been really thinking about how happy i am right now and the answer i got was that i am not.
this really came as a shock to me because i have always been happy and grateful even when shit happens and even when the ex turns psycho cos i kinda know everything will be okay in the end.

now i get to see the most amazing cities and meet amazing crazy people, but i am not satisfied with life because of the lack i feel in my love life.
as i look to my right, i cant deny that my partner has been the best i ever had but i somehow do not feel like im in love anymore.
i realised that over the past few months, i have morphed into someone i would hate because i want my partner to feel that way, hoping that this would trigger dissatisfaction that will eventually lead to the end of the relationship and my supposed misery.

which is stupid and silly isnt it?
not only has my partner not gave up on me, she has flown halfway across the world to join me on my journey/adventure despite all the uncertainties.
all that has changed is that my outlook in life has been more negative than ever and it’s not doing me any good.

so this entry is to serve as a reminder to myself to be the carefree and happy me that my friends and I used to know.

“Walk in the rain,
smell flowers,
stop along the way,
build sandcastles,
go on field trips,
find out how things work,
tell stories,
say the magic words,
trust the universe.”
― Bruce Williamson

 

of dreamers and realists July 19, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — MM @ 2:32 am

why i love modern family.

anws on tt topic, finally skyped w le familia yesterday. it’s all good.
now i just hope i can get back by May next yr for the wedding or come up with a good excuse for not going by then.

still a long way to go.
a lot of things could happen.
who knows really. (:

 

dorian gray July 7, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — MM @ 5:08 am

“Oh, I can’t explain. When I like people immensely I never tell their names to anyone. It is like surrendering a part of them.
I have grown to love secrecy. It seems to be the one thing that can make modern life mysterious or marvellous to us.
The commonest thing is delightful if one only hides it.
When I leave town now I never tell my people where I am going. If I did, I would lose all my pleasure.
It is a silly habit, I daresay, but somehow it seems to bring a great deal of romance into one’s life.
I suppose you think me awfully foolish about it.”