so let the sunshine in


i dont dare June 15, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — MM @ 5:34 pm

Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.
-Dr. Joyce Brothers


who’d have known June 8, 2010

Filed under: <3,cogitations,random,ts — MM @ 5:31 pm

woke up this afternoon, relatively in a good mood.
cooked fried rice while grumbling but still quite happy nonetheless,
cause i have food to eat.
then the fat bastard came back, and i knew(i just knew it), that he was gonna eat my fried rice without my permission.
although i cooked an extra portion, that doesnt mean you can take without asking. grr.
so i went back to my room, and reiterated to myself that karma will work itself out, so no point getting angry.
and barely a few seconds later, the fried rice thief howled in pain, cos the chilli padi in the fried rice was burning his mouth.
and i cudnt help but laughed out loud behind the closed door, thinking , yea serves you right son of a bitch.

i cud hear him throwing away the rest of the rice before he went back to his room.
thereafter i went out to scoop a bowl of rice for myself and before i even know it, tears were streaming down while i was munching in hunger.
(and no it wasnt cos the chilli was too hot)
i dont know why i got so emotional.

was it because he took my fried rice without asking, thus pissing me off?
was it his incognizance that frustrated me?
or was it because of the guilt after i just laughed sinisterly when he got his just deserts?

anw, i decided i cudnt multi task(eat and cry at the same time), so i went back to my room to cry my lungs out.
i couldnt contain any longer whatever that made me so upset.
i stuffed my face into a pillow and screamed before bursting into sobs.
then, i could feel my hands turning numb and hyperventilation setting in.

yea, i thought i was gonna die, cos i could totally feel myself gasping for air and i had to calm myself down cos the thought of dying in that manner scares me.

so i stopped crying, went back to finish my fried rice.
drank a glass of milk
tune in to grooveshark
typed this entry
and all is well.


carnalito/carnalita June 7, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — MM @ 2:08 am

i hope everything goes as planned. keeping my fingers crossed. cloudy bay 2002 was damn bad. well at least it did what its supposed to do. and what is this madness. feeling worn out,i dont have the desire to savour moments in my life anymore. i miss ’07-’08. i need to start thinking forward.


three little birds, sat on my window June 1, 2010

Filed under: cogitations,ts — MM @ 2:36 am

take 5 has this calming effect on me, lurrrveee it to death.

plenty of things worrying me recently, just the fact that ive acknowledged the previous statement worries me even more.
i try to look on the bright side, but i dont wanna brush it off for fear that it might not get better if i dont do anything about it.
but as i contemplate to take measures to improve the situation, thoughts of the worst case scenario creeps into my mind.
anw, on a brighter note,i have a new resolution! hahahah. psyching myself up for 26 june. lol. sexciting. :D

anw, now you can annoy me/interrogate me/ask me questions here

Maybe sometimes we’ve got it wrong, but it’s alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don’t you hesitate.