so let the sunshine in


November 20, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — MM @ 1:53 pm

and so in less than 12 hrs, imma be 21. this year feels a little bit more special i must say.
being 21 marks my freedom and independence. i already got my passport and i can now travel.
ive been waiting for this day since forever, words cannot describe my feelings.
as cliche as it may sound, i feel like a caged bird set free.

i feel blessed. i may not have a fancy car or my own house(yet!), but having people who genuinely care and genuinely feel happy for me makes life feels complete as it is.
2011 has been a good year.

ive never been the kind to hold parties to celebrate my birthday.
i think my last birthday party was when I was 16.
everyone got drunk and wasted and i Almost got raped.
i think that was when I realised there wasnt a need for parties anymore.

I realised people who care would be there not only on your birthday but on days you need them most. people who are close to your heart dont give a damn about what you wear or what kind of fancy parties youre having.
people who care hold your hair up for you when youre puking your guts out.
people who care clean up after you when you pee in their bed in a drunken state.
people who care pick up your call at 3 in the morning when youre penniless roaming the streets trying to get home or just listen when you need someone to talk to.
people who care fly 1485miles just to give you a hug when youre having the worst day of your life.

Every year when I attend birthday parties, I wonder ‘are we here to celebrate another year of someone we really care about or is this party just another social obligation’
10 years down the road, am i going to remember you for the good friend tt you have been, or for the amazing party tt you held.

heck, i dont even remember my closest friends’ birthdays.
my 2 good friends(of 5 years) surprised me w cake and gifts last friday cos they knew i was leaving on monday.
they asked “did u expected us to rmb?”
me: nope.
them: dyou rmb our birthdays?

well, lets just say i only got the month right for only 1 of them. this despite the fact i celebrate their birthdays with them almost every year.

maybe im not putting in enough effort to remember. or maybe the lack of significance
itself in birthdays explains my nonchalance. maybe all these are excuses.
but anw, im so glad they know it’s not because i do not care abt them.
they know, our friendship transcends all that.

T said, “wanted to get you a Guess bag. but what issit that you really want?” (and this was because some 4 yrs ago, i couldnt stop raving whenever we walked by a Guess shop)
me: (smiles) i dont know actually.

As years pass by, a birthday is just another day. i dont need to have a party to celebrate my life. im celebrating life every other day.


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